NYC 20-somethings say salary talks belong after becoming official

New York City's Dating Scene Weighs in on Salary Talks

In the city that never sleeps, young adults are navigating the complex world of dating, and with it, the tricky conversation of salaries. According to recent interviews with 20-somethings in New York City, there's a general consensus that discussing salary is a topic best left for after becoming an official couple. Willa Morton, 25, who works in tech sales, believes that salaries are just a number and can be gauged based on someone's spending habits. She hasn't asked her boyfriend, a company founder, about his salary, despite him knowing hers. Their dates typically cost around $200, with him usually paying for the bigger bills. This arrangement works for them, with Willa saying, "It's an unspoken rule that he will pick up the bigger bills."

When to Discuss Salary: A Dividing Line

For many, the dividing line for when to discuss salary, spending habits, and debt is when they become an official couple. Alexa Ludato, 25, who works in insurance, says she'd only have the conversation when she's official with someone. Her friend, Vik Sunderaj, 22, agrees, thinking that a salary question on the first few dates is "a little crazy." He believes that if someone asks about his salary too soon, "it probably means they wouldn't be the right person for me." Others, like Bridget Shurdut, 26, who works in sales, feel even more strongly about being asked too soon. She says she would find it "incredibly odd" if someone asked about her salary within the first few dates and might not continue to see that person.

Expert Advice: Starting the Conversation Early

Dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield suggests that money conversations should start much earlier than many people think. According to Mansfield, "In the first few dates, you should talk about how each of you approaches spending, saving, generosity, lifestyle, and financial independence as these things shape compatibility." This approach focuses on understanding each other's values and habits rather than just discussing salary.

Perspectives on Discussing Salary

The following individuals shared their perspectives on discussing salary:

Person	Perspective on Discussing Salary
Willa Morton	Salaries are just a number, can be gauged based on spending habits
Alexa Ludato	Discuss salary only when official with someone
Vik Sunderaj	Salary question on first few dates is "a little crazy"
Bridget Shurdut	Would find it "incredibly odd" if someone asked about salary too soon
Kate Mansfield	Money conversations should start early, focusing on spending habits and financial independence

Frequently Asked Questions

When should you discuss salary with your partner?

According to many 20-somethings in New York City, it's best to discuss salary after becoming an official couple.

What's the best approach to discussing money with your partner?

Dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield suggests focusing on spending habits, saving, generosity, lifestyle, and financial independence to understand each other's values and habits.

Can discussing salary too early be a turn-off?

Yes, some individuals, like Vik Sunderaj, believe that asking about salary too soon can be a turn-off and might indicate that the person is not the right match.

As the dating scene in New York City continues to evolve, one thing is clear: discussing salary is a complex and sensitive topic. While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, the general consensus is to wait until becoming an official couple. As Emily Moretta, 26, who has been in a relationship for two years without discussing salaries, says, "Maybe down the line we would, when it gets more serious."